Sleep Log for November 17

Since Snow White missed her afternoon nap entirely, she was ragged by bathtime. So we went upstairs a little early- 6:45.  We finished the bedtime routine and Rose Red was still awake, so I told her to wait quietly while I tried to put the baby to bed. Usually, she's asleep before I can come back to check on her. Tonight, Snow White was asleep in her crib by 7:20 and Rose was still awake. So I gave her a short back rub and told her I had to go feed the dog and do some work downstairs, but I would listen to her on the monitor.  A while later she called me and encouraged her to keep trying. A while later she had to go to the bathroom again.  That time I went back up with her and just sat in her room reading a book with the headlamp while she tossed and turned and occassionally tried to start a conversation.  Finally I noticed her breathing become slow and regular, so I pulled the cell out of my pocket and checked the time- 8:08.  I went back to my book, just to be sure she was really out, but before I found my place on the page, Snow White started squalling. I rushed in to pick her up before she woke Red. The clock in the bedroom said 8:08. Snow nursed back to sleep and was back in her crib by 8:25.  Not an auspicious beginning for the night.

However, the rest of the night went fine. She slept till 2 in the crib, woke up for her daily wrestling match at 5:40.  Rose Red slept through the night, I think.  Maybe she woke up once for help fixing her covers, I can't remember.

Sleep Log for November 16

Oops, I forgot to record Sunday night. Now I can't remember how it went.

Yesterday Snow White had a 40 minute nap in the afternoon.  I was at the dentist, and Daddy forgot to make Rose Red take a siesta after school.  This resulted in bad behavior when I got home, a shrieking tantrum, and an enfored siesta at 5:00.  Two more shrieking tantrums ensued before we finally got her to sleep at 7:30.  Snow White was almost asleep when the last tantrum startled her and it took another thirty minutes to get her back down. She woke again at 9, and I didn't even try putting her back down until I was ready for bed at 10.  After that she settled pretty quickly and slept until 4, nursed, and slept again until 7.
Rose Red had nightmares requiring intervention at 9:30 and 10:30, but slept quietly until 7 after that. All in all, it was a decent night after a terrible evening.

Sleep Log for November 13 & 14

Friday night started lke a dream. Both girls asleep at 7:30.  They stayed asleep until Snow White came over to our bed to nurse at 2 am.  Between 2 and 5 however, Snow White woke two or three more times, and we wrestled again for most of the 5-6 hour.  She was conked out by 7 when when it was time to get up, but did not transfer to the crib when I got out of bed.

Rose Red slept through the night! But she did wake up at 6 when her daddy got up for class and never went back to bed.

Snow White's morning nap time was spoiled by our going out to breakfast, so she ended up crying herself to sleep in the car at about 10 am. She slept about thirty minutes, waking when we stopped the car. She wouldn't go down for afternoon nap, so daddy strapped her in the Bjorn and we went for a walk.  She ended up sleeping from about 3-4.

Saturday night also began well, with both girls asleep in their own beds by 7:30.  Rose Red slept through the night again! Two nights in a row!

But Snow White woke at 10 when we came to bed. She went back to sleep quickly, but we took almost an hour to fall asleep, still caught up in the movie we had just watched, The Painted Veil.  Daddy and I both woke inexplicably at midnight, and I spent the next hour churning over the transmission of cholera.  Finally took melatonin and fell asleep about 1:30, only to be awakened by Snow White at 2.  She fed again maybe twice before waking at 5:40. Instead of wrestling, this morning I sat up and nursed her. It took fifty minutes to get her back to sleep, and she woke as soon as I put her in her crib.  So I just got up with her at 6:30.

She got an hour nap around 10, and about twenty-five minutes at 3 (after wearing her down for a half hour walk). Rose Red got a thirty minute siesta from 1:15.

What Gets Measured Gets Done

I mentioned before that I have a small library of sleep books on my shelf, covering the whole range from Suck it Up to Cry it Out.  While the techniques and philosophies vary, they all have one thing in common.  Every single one identifies a sleep log as the first step.  The logs they describe range from simple recordings of total hours slept to complicated and detailed summaries of every major activity in your child's day.  The one thing they have in common is that they all agree narrative logs (like this one) are the least helpful in identifying patterns.  Even so, blogging my girls' sleep this week I have noticed that Rose Red's nightmares disappeared on siesta days, and reappeared when we skipped it.  Any record at all provides useful information.  Of course, it's an exercise that needs to be repeated, since the situation is always changing.

In the last two years, I have kept many sleep logs, and I have found that sleep deprived parents need to keep it simple or else they won't keep it up long enough to get real patterns identified.  Of course, the first thing you need to know is "How much sleep is my kid actually getting?"  The second thing tends to be identifying the times when your child falls asleep or wakes up.  If you discover your child always wakes up at 2am, it can help you narrow down the causes.  Once you are familiar with the basic pattern of your child's sleep, you can start to identify possible culprits for sleep disruptions.  A second or third generation sleep log may be as simple as
Good Night/Bad Night
Exercise today? Yes/No      
Sugar after 4pm? Yes/No

Sleep Log for November 12

Last night both girls were asleep in their own beds by 7:15. I spent a quiet hour reading Sleepless in America, drinking a glass of wine and feeling like life was under control for a change.  At 8:05, Snow White woke up screaming.  I nursed her back to sleep and all was quiet for several wonderful, peaceful hours.  Rose Red had two or three nightmares, with the last one at 2 AM, loud enough to wake the baby.  Daddy took Red to the bathroom while I brought Snow into our bed and nursed her back to sleep.  Although Rose Red slept quietly until 7 am, Snow White woke three or four more times during the night, and spent most of the 6 am hour wrestling to get out of bed. I finally got her to lay still and when the alarm went off at 7 she was conked out.  I stayed in bed an extra 15 minutes, but when I tried to get up and put her back in the crib she woke up.  Today, she had a two hour nap in the morning. I think that's the first time in six months. Unfortunately, that put her afternoon nap right when I needed to pick up Rose Red from school. So afternoon nap never really happened.

Hitting the Books

I never do anything without reading a book about it first, so as soon as sleepless nights became an issue in our family, I started to read about it.  The first book I read is still my favorite. Sleepless in America, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.  Generally, sleep books fall into one of two categories: Suck it Up or Cry it Out.  I have a lot to say about Cry It Out (CIO), so I'll save it for a later topic, but for now suffice to say it is not an option for my family.  While I'm generally more comfortable with the attitude towards children presented by the Suck it Up crowd, our early sleep problems were too severe to be absorbed by the adults entirely.  What I like best about this book is that it approaches sleep as something the whole family needs to work on together.  Babies are not left alone in a dark room for 12 hours, and grownups are not expected to stand on their heads and cradle their babies on their feet until kindergarten either.

I've read this book probably four times now, and every time I find something new that applies to my ever-changing sleep situation.  Other books have good information too, and I continue to buy new ones, always hoping for a silver bullet.  But the strategies from Sleepless in America have consistently made the most difference in our nights.

Sleep Log for November 10 & 11

Rose Red slept through the night two nights in a row! Asleep at seven pm and up at 7 am. Hallelulah!  I think that instituting the 20 minute "siesta" after school helped.
Snow White on the other hand, is still recovering from her cold. She was up half a dozen times each night, and sleeping no more than 20 minutes for her morning naps.  Yesterday her afternoon nap didn't happen till daddy strapped her in the Bjorn and walked to the playground- then she slept from 4:30-5, which kept her up till we went to bed ourselves.  Today, she didn't go down till 2:30. Luckily, daddy could pick up her sister from school, so we got to let her sleep till she woke up on her own an hour and a half later.

Sleep Log for November 9

Snow White went to sleep about 7, and woke at 7:20. I went to bed with her and we both went right to sleep.  Rose Red fell asleep about the same time. She basically slept through the night, although she did make noise each time her sister woke.  Which was a lot.  Shortly after 10, Snow White woke with a 103 fever. We gave her Tylenol, and she went back to sleep around 10:30, when the medicine kicked in. She woke about 3 hours later, with a 101. Stayed awake until it was late enough to get another dose of Tylenol.  Repeat until morning.  I couldn't get her to sleep for AM nap, so put her in the back carrier and she finally crashed at about 10:15.

Sleep Log for November 8

Both girls asleep around 7. Snow White had her first nightmare. It was about 8.  I don't really remember how the rest of the night went.  I think there was one or two nightmares/retucking for Rose Red and one or two nursings for Snow White.  The next day she only got two 20 minute naps.

Sleep Log for November 7

Both girls asleep by 7:15.
Snow White woke at 8:00, took 15 minutes to get back down.
Rose Red had the mother of all night terrors at 9:10, waking the baby and almost earning herself a trip to the ER.  She got back to sleep at 10:00.  But mom and baby were so wired, it took until 11:30 before we could even go back to bed. 
I think the rest of the night was uneventful, maybe nursing once or twice.
Snow White did not nap at all the next day.

Sleep Log November 6

Both girls asleep about 7:30.
Rose Red loudly woke from a nightmare at 9, waking Snow White.
While I nursed Snow back to sleep, Daddy took Red to the bathroom, helped her blow her nose, took her temperature (low grade fever) and gave her Tylenol, reminded her that she can't suffocate from being stuffy because she can breathe through her mouth, then read The Hobbit to her until she fell asleep around 9:30.
Within minutes, moaning and sobbing began again.  Finally at 10 I went in to wake her and repeat the mouth breathing reminder. Tucked back in and right back to sleep. Repeat until Daddy went in at 10:30 for a repeat performance.  Finally, around 11, she got quiet and we all got to sleep through the rest of the night until....Snow White woke to eat at 6.  Then rolled over and tried to crawl off the bed, resulting in a wrestling match that lasted until 7, when I finally got up.  Rose Red got up at 7:15.
Today Snow White -
AM nap: 30 minutes from 9:45
PM nap: 1hr 20 mins from 1:45 after 2 failed attempts and a hard battle

Today Rose Red -
45 minutes quiet time from 12:30

Sleep Log for November 5

Not a bad night.  Rose Red asleep by 7:30, Snow White by 8.  Red had a nightmare at 9 but didn't wake up.  A thunder storm woke us all up at 10:30, Snow moved over to our bed to nurse,and no one got back to sleep until the storm passed.  After that, everyone slept until Snow got hungry at 6.  After nursing, she never got back to sleep, so we were out of bed by 6:45.  Red slept until 7:15.  Snow White got to sleep for 20 minutes in the morning, and exactly one hour in the afternoon.

The First Rule of Fight Club

Okay, let's talk about Fight Club. It's one of my favorite movies. And sleeplessness is ultimately what the movie is about. Sleepless in Seattle, on the other hand, never really did it for me. It should have, because I live in Seattle and love movies that take place here because I get to say, "Oh look, it's the Market." I also love movies that reference other movies, the way Sleepless references An Affair to Remember (except that movie wasn't so hot either.) Plus, I'm partial to the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan combo since my husband and I watched When Harry Met Sally on our first date. But somehow, with everything in its favor, Sleepless in Seattle bored me.

So why did I name my blog after Nora Ephron's frumpy little romance, instead of the captivating, gritty, mindblowing Fight Club? Well, the sleeplessness in Fight Club leads to extreme violence and psychosis. Not really appropriate for what is going to be a parenting blog.

Sleepless in Seattle, is about a parent, living in Seattle, who doesn't get enough sleep. Close enough. In both movies, insomnia is the culprit. One is dissatisfied with his blandly materialistic existence, the other grieving the loss of his wife. In my case, the culprit is external.

What robs me sleep night after night? Two little girls.