The Age-Old Question

No, I'm not talking about, "Does this dress make me look fat?" I'm talking about the other one. "Am I too old for this?" Back when the answer was never "no" I thought it was a stupid question. I thought that if you liked it, you should wear it. But then on a trip to England, I saw lots of high school girls in plaid uniforms wearing little tiaras. I couldn't resist. I had dreamed of a wearing a tiara ever since I was a little girl. But every time I tried to put it on, something held me back. I only wore it once, to the Solstice Festival, where anyone can get away with anything (or, famously, nothing). Then it sat in a drawer for years until I gave it to my five year old.

This weekend I have a hair appointment. This is a big deal. In grad school I used to change my hair color every quarter. In a day-long process I dyed my ass-length hair 3 different shades of purple to celebrate when we bought our house. I have had my hair black & blue, lavender, various stripey combinations, Galadriel white – you name it. But this will be my first salon appointment since we brought Rose Red home four years ago. Once I went to the Gary Manuel training salon, and I've had half a dozen trims at Rudy's, but no real hairstyling in over four years.

Now I am going to Vain, to see someone who specialized in my hair type, and I'm all aflutter. I am full of big ideas that I know I won't follow through on, because I'm still a mom with two small kids who doesn't own a blow dryer. I won't do color, because I don't go in often enough to deal with the roots. But there is one dramatic, colorful trend that requires no maintenance. It's just the sort of thing I would have gone for back in the day, if it had existed then. I'm talking about feather extensions.

So, if my use of the phrase "back in the day" wasn't enough to tip you off, here it comes. The trick is - I had never seen this trend before my daughters' nanny showed up with blue feathers in her hair. If you first notice a trend on the nanny, does that mean you are too old for it?

Unfortunately, I'm afraid so.

If anyone has evidence to the contrary, say, pictures of chic middle-aged women with feather extensions, please share it with me. Double points if your example works in a conservative environment like local government. I would love permission to tie brightly colored feathers in my hair.